Nick Saban is so tough...
---He sent a memo to the athletic department saying no one can make eye
contact with him in the hallways...
---He was so frustrated with the lack of tackling that he took on Jimmy
Johns in a 1 on 1 drill and gave JJ a mild concussion...
---He punched John Parker Wilson in the face during practice when JPW
spoke to him without kneeling...
---He's taking the names off of the jerseys and replacing them all
with "cleansingbag"...
---He got so tired of seeing the punters shank their kicks during
practice that he took off his shoe and punted the ball 73 yards...and
it rolled another 12 and stopped inside the 5...
---I heard that Nick Saban drives an ice cream truck covered in human
skulls.
---Saban is going to singe-handedly build the new addtion to the
stadium using his laser vision, mind powers, and go-go-gadget arms.
---I heard that Saban has more strength in one nut than Chuck Norris
does in his whole body.
---300 is loosely based on the Sabanized Bama football teams.
---nick saban once killed a man...just by staring at him. It's
true...wikipedia said so.
---I heard the opening seens to saving private ryan where looselly
based on sabans child hood dodgeball games..
---While coaching at Toledo, Saban became bored during practice one day
and decided to write a short story about what he'd do if he ran the
world. This story became known as the Bible.
---Saban took the entire team to the rec after practice for karate
class and introduced him to their guest instructor... Chuck Norris.
---I heard Saban actually beat Tubbs and Spurrier by 54 strokes a piece
during the Regions Classic pro-am! Saban hit a hole in one on every
hole! After the round Saban commented on his round " MY putting woes
continue, so I decided to attack them from the tee box!!"
---I heard that Nick Saban is Chris Angel's father.
---I heard that upon the hiring of Nick Saban that Paul "Bear" Bryant
dug himself out of his grave went to the nearest pay-phone and called
the Athletic Department at auburn laughingly saying "GOT 'EM"
-True Story (maybe)
---I heard that Big Al and Nick Saban were using the same urinal and
upon leaving the previous said urinal the Alabama mascot demanded to
simply be referred to as Al and attach the subtitle Big to Coach Saban.
Thus we have Al and Big Saban!
---I heard that when Saban isn't coaching football, he's out on the
streets at night fighting crime with his super human powers
---I heard that Saban was actually an aborted fetus, but through pure
strength and determination he was able to put himself through a full
gestation period outside of the womb. Saban was never a quitter (his
mother on the other hand...)
---Nick Saban owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him
win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a
Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a
green 4 card from the game Uno.
---Giraffes were created when Nick Saban uppercutted a horse.
---Playing a Saban coached team is the preferred method of execution in
all 50 states.
---I heard that when he was moving here from Miami, he didnt drive or
fly, he walked across the gulf
---I heard Superman wears Saban PJs.
---Cyborg?
---I heard that he was so moved by Al Gore's movie "An Unconvenient
Truth" that he sold his car and bought a sadle. He now rides Andre
Smith anywhere he needs to go.
---I heard that Mike Shula has to give Nick a foot massage everyday and
say who's your daddy?
---I heard a pastor say last week that the scriptures credit Coach
Saban with the creation of Football.
---A Bahamian judge has awarded Anna Nicole Smith's baby to Nick Saban.
The baby can now run a 4.6 40 and maxed out on bench at 395. Saban was
not pleased with the progress...
---I heard Saban taught his kids to swim by throwing them in the deep
end of the pool on their 2nd birthday. The ones who survived are now
olympic speed swimmers. The ones he lost weren't worthy to be his kids.
---I heard that The University of Alabama President (President Witt)
asks Saban for permission to go to the bathroom
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